When Dreams Made Real Become Less Sweet
by nintendosegasonyguy
Summary: StevenxLapis, because darn it, we need more of it! Makes several references to the episodes "Mirror Gem," "Ocean Gem," and "Chille Tid," but not "The Return" or "Jailbreak."


**When Dreams Made Real Become Less Sweet**

 _Disclaimer: There are some references to actual Steven Universe episodes. Apologies for any minor dialogue or staging inconsistencies, but it would've been less fun for me if I had to rewatch all those old episodes and copy the exact dialogue and actions, although with that said, now that I've written this story, I'm certainly gonna go back and rewatch that whole arc!_

Blue had long since become his favorite color. Ever since he was a child, growing up in this little seaside town, a view of a seemingly endless horizon filled his eyes every time he walked outside or looked out a window. He couldn't escape it, and he didn't want to escape it, ever. He had become a child of the ocean, even joking to his father that he always considered himself a merman. "Perhaps one day I'll be able to shapeshift into one!" he had said. It had always been a long-time dream of his to explore the deepest bottom there, to see all of the brand new creatures of such a high-pressure environment.

Over the past few months, though, a new reason for his love of water had emerged, and a new reason to find the bottom of the ocean. There was now a tortured treasure down there. A suffocating beacon, begging to be found and saved.

Today marked the one-month anniversary of her unnatural and loveless birth, wrought into this world out of security instead of risk, fear instead of love. His fingers tightened around the neck of his cherished ukulele just thinking about it. Those eyes…sharp, penetrating, explosive green eyes, all four of them, gazed down upon him and his loved ones with such anger and contempt, but in the blink of an eye, all of that negativity reversed, and for a flash, he thought he saw the dark blue he had come to know and love so deeply. Then that blue dissolved again, and the giant amalgamation of hate and love collapsed into his beloved ocean, lost and chained seemingly forever.

None of their searches had yielded any results. A whole, fruitless month wasted. But he couldn't knock himself or his fellow Crystal Gems – they had no leads as to the exact whereabouts of Malachite, and even if they did, they didn't exactly have much of a plan, beyond the typical run-and-gun, and who knows just how dangerous and powerful that fusion would have been in combat? They all knew Jasper and Lapis' capabilities just on their own.

A small wave splashing on his sandal snapped Steven out of his thoughts, and he peered down the horizon again. It had been a relaxed day. The other Gems were on a mission – Steven had politely declined their invitation for him to join them, knowing full well what day it was. Today was a day of quiet contemplation. Nevertheless, he had been to town, but had not actively sought anyone out to spend time with. Everything seemed to happen by accident. He ran into his father Greg, who then accompanied him to the Big Donut for breakfast, then he later ran into Kiki while she was delivering pizza. Around early afternoon, he had run into Connie and her mother shopping on the boardwalk, and he had joined them for lunch. Connie had wanted him to stay the night at her house, but her parents were not especially enthusiastic and Steven had told her he wanted the evening to himself anyway. The twilight overhead made the stars shine like diamonds, serving as a bitter reminder of Pearl and Garnet's original home world somewhere out there and the queens of the planet. The somber colors and the darkened ocean provided the perfect inspiration for him in that moment, and he started playing his instrument.

 _Sometimes, we float through life on a journey_

 _Always uncertain of our tomorrows_

 _Through the eyes of a cat, or a sparrow_

 _Thrown into the throws of yearning_

Impressed with himself, he smiled and stood up, singing and playing with even more confidence that before, staring right across the ocean.

 _Above or underground, the stars are shining_

 _Along with the many or alone in solitary, woah~_

 _I miss you dearly_

 _I miss you so deeply~_

 _And if among these things, there is beauty_

 _Let it call itself out to all those who are worthy_

 _Every gift of burden on one's back must be carried_

 _South to north, between all the newly married_

 _Oh, woah~_

 _I miss you deeply_

 _Oh, so dearly_

 _Woah~_

Steven launched into an instrumental break and slowly played to a stop. He felt himself tear up, and droplets spilled onto the surface, making tiny, insignificant ripples that he wondered whether or not could reach her from here. He prayed they would, because she would know he was suffering too, and that she'd never, ever be alone.

"When we find you…" he whispered. "I'm gonna…I'm gonna…"

Darkness. Solitude. Emptiness. Silence.

Despite everything horrible that the situation still represented, in that moment it was still infinitely better than before. She had finally stopped struggling. Perhaps she was just feigning the need to rest, or maybe she really was out cold, but Lapis Lazuli did not want to take any risks. She knew she couldn't drop her guard for even an instant, for if she did, she would lose control. The chains around her wrists remained clamped as tightly as she could muster, but it was clear within only a few minutes that her grip was slackening. She bit her lower lip, weighing the options.

 _Maybe…maybe if I just slowly put the chains down, she won't notice, and I'll be able to get some rest?_ The two of them were separated by an opaque barrier at Lapis' feet, so neither of them could see what the other was doing. Jasper would never know if she secretly put the chains down, would she? Would she?

It was clear she didn't have a choice, though, as her arms slowly fell on their own, miraculously noiselessly. Exhausted and breathing heavily, she slowly fell to her knees, quietly splashing the bit of water between. For just a few moments, she knew she could think, and that's all she felt like doing.

She began to quietly sob in despair, feeling more alone than she ever had before. Not as though being alone was unnatural for a lapis lazuli, but then, she was no longer a normal lapis, was she? She had changed so much in such a short period of time, and the weight of difference descended upon her like a tsunami.

She had been exposed to new things, new places, new people, and a brand new feeling of understanding. It had all felt…unnatural. Unnatural, but not awful. She recalled her time spent in solitary confinement, in that nightmare of a mirror, for such an unearthly long amount of time that she could no longer distinguish reality and her own memories. Every day was an unconscious blur of her reliving her formation, her days on Home World, her journey to Earth for war, her original encounter with the rebel forces, her original imprisonment…and, for some odd reason, a blobby image of pink kept popping up right at the end. Lapis even now had no semblance of what that was or what it meant.

She thought of that day her bubble had literally popped, and suddenly, she could see. Only through a tunnel, but the world was reawakened nonetheless. She had seen this strange creature's face through the mirror's glass. It didn't look like any gem she had ever seen before. Its skin was a kind of tannish pink color, not quite as pastel as Pink Diamond had been when she was still alive, nor as sandy as some of the desert-Gems that had grown out of the Kindergartens all over the galaxy, but a unique color all its own. Its smile was shiny and white, as genuine as the ocean was blue. Its eyes weren't full of that cold calculation or ornery standoffishness she had only ever seen on Home World, but of a kind of mysterious and indescribable compassion. "Hi, I'm Steven!" the thing had said. Steven? What was a Steven? That wasn't a gem name. Some kind of organic creature? Its features were minutely asymmetrical. Perhaps it was made by accident and not by choice? Lapis had had so many questions but could only express herself so much. She couldn't speak, finding she could only mimic the things the "Steven" had said, cutting them up and forming new statements that fit the situation. The two had spent the whole day together, doing incomprehensible, pointless and sometimes stupid things, and for the first time in a long time, she had remembered how it felt to not be alone. But not in a contrived fashion, only meant to serve some greater purpose to the gem authority and world. This new kind of togetherness felt different. Spontaneous, flamboyant…free. It simultaneously felt exciting and terrifying. Steven was different. Steven _felt_ different, and that was only crystal clear to her now in hindsight. She wondered what it truly meant to be half-human and half-gem. Maybe humans were the ones who felt this way?

By the time the sky had grown dark, Steven had said enough to where Lapis could finally communicate her most precious and desired wish. She could tell they were on a beach, and whenever Steven pointed the mirror in their direction, she was mesmerized by the movement of the waves on the sand.

Steven, face contorted in pain, cried out, "I don't understand! What do you want me to do?" Other, muddled and distant voices could be heard, telling him to let go of the mirror. She only caught glimpses of white and purple.

 _Bzzz._ "Steven." _Crzzz._ "Break." _Bzzz._ "Me." _Czzzz._ "Freeeee!"

"No, Steven! Don't do it!"

Despite his compatriots' blatant protests, he tore her blue gem off the back of the mirror and she was liberated. Slowly, she felt her physical form take shape and align itself with the gem on her back. She stumbled, having momentarily forgotten what it felt like to have a physical form, but quickly, muscle memory kicked back in, and she could stand and think and move.

"Steven…" she whispered. "Thank you…" Looking at him, he appeared slightly blurry, unlike before, when she could perceive him clear as day. It made her slightly woozy, but she didn't show it.

"Who…who are you?" Steven shyly asked, eyes at his feet. Now she could see Pink Diamond's color on him.

"I'm Lapis. Lapis Lazuli."

She could now clearly recognize the three other creatures before her. They were obviously Gems; in the dim light of twilight, she could make out an amethyst, a pearl, and a strange red one she couldn't immediately recognize.

"Steven, get away from her!" The pearl cried.

"No! Don't hurt her! She's my friend!" Steven stood between both parties, arms spread out. Peering around him, Lapis noticed water falling out of his eyes. Another human trope, perhaps?

"You don't know what you're doing!" The red thing yelled. It then jumped in a flash towards the two of them. Lapis flinched, knowing she couldn't react in time, and prepared for the worst. But the worst refused to come. After a moment, she noticed a bright pink, tangible aura enveloping them. It resembled the very bubble her mirror had been trapped in for so long. The bubble repelled the red gem away, knocking its visors off, before it slowly disappeared. Lapis could now see three eyes, and she realized this creature was a fusion in disguise. Disgusting…disgusting and shameful.

"I know exactly what I'm doing, Garnet! Lapis isn't bad! She's…she's…"

"Y-You…" Lapis slowly began, walking away from her friend. "It was you three…you were the ones who trapped me in that mirror!"

All three of them readied their weapons, but in an instant, Lapis directed her powers upon them, pushing them all back to the cliff's face. Water splashed the statue adorned at the top of the mountain.

"Wait, Lapis!" Steven called, and the two looked at each other. "They…they just don't understand. Don't hurt them; they're my friends too!"

"Steven…" Lapis began. "I…they're the ones I don't understand. They kept me in the prison for…for I don't even know how long. They're monsters!"

"That's not true! They just-" A blur of purple whizzed straight over Steven and hit Lapis, skidding her across the sand. She held her footing, grunted and formed viscous hands from the ocean. Amethyst slowed to a halt, brazenly flashing a scowl at the blue gem, who tossed her across the beach like nothing. With barely a moment to spare, the fusion reappeared, this time with her pearl friend. Garnet squarely smacked one water hand, splatting it all over the sand, while Pearl aimed her spear directly for Lapis' chest. Despite the setback, Lapis channeled the sea around her in a column, spinning it into a bubble that rapidly expanded and pushed both of them back to the cliff. The wave almost reached Steven, who was laying on his side, watching the skirmish with awe and then panic when he realized he was about to be hit, but at the last minute, Lapis redirected the wave so that he remained unharmed. Not taking any chances, she reformed a bubble, this time just around herself and Steven. Slowly, she walked up to him.

"Steven…are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah…I'm fine. But Lapis, you've got to stop. I don't want you to hurt anyone."

"Come with me."

"What?"

"I'm going home. I've spent too long trapped in this place. Come with me. You can be free, too. Please. I don't want to go back alone."

"I-I…I don't…I mean, I just…"

Timid black eyes met grayed, obscured pupils, but in that small moment of hesitation, Lapis knew she had received her answer. Her heart skipped a beat and her face faltered for but a moment, only to be replaced with anger. "Fine. I'll just go back myself." She turned and began to walk away. "I don't need you anymore."

"Wait, Lapis! Let's talk this out! I don't want you leave!" Upon those words, Lapis almost stopped, but suddenly all of that trust she felt for Steven that had accumulated over the day was thrown into question. If he couldn't see what was obvious to her, then she knew he couldn't understand a thing. She marched into the sea without turning back, taking every single endlessly repeating wave with her.

That lone action might have been her biggest regret. Lapis cradled her knees and rocked back and forth, trying to calm herself. She knew she had been too cruel to him in that moment, having scarcely given him a moment to considering abandoning whatever previous alliances and life he may have had, but the awe-inspiring freedom she had felt in that moment took precedence over everything else. She couldn't have stood to spend one more second in front of her captors. Not a single one. At any moment, they could have overtaken her and she would have returned to that all-encompassing void, regardless of any protests from Steven.

In the few days following, she had attempted to reach Home World again. Hers was a tower of hubris, one that taunted the Christian conception of God just as the Tower of Babel had. But still, it wasn't enough to reach home. Not all of the water on the surface of the planet would suffice, and she had taken as much as she could muster. Sitting atop her throne, she stared into the endless space, sprinkled with endless specks of light. She considered giving it all back and resigning to her fate, when she heard Steven's voice flutter from the base of the spire.

"Lapis? Are you there?" She frowned and hurdled herself to the bottom of the tower. Her face peered from within the surface of the tower. Steven, chest puffed with confidence, stood front and center before her. Behind him were the three gems from before, but other creatures as well – possibly other humans?

"What do you want, Steven?"

"I came to talk to you. You're doing something terrible and I need you stop."

Flabbergasted by his reproach, calmly-toned though it was, she glared at him. "I-I'm doing something terrible? How dare you say that to me?! This place is hell! You have _no_ idea what I've been through!"

Steven's expression softened further. "And you have no idea what we're going through, right now, Lapis. You've taken the ocean, something very precious to all of us, to the whole world. Let's talk this out. I meant what I said before. I care about you and want to help you, but you have to give us back the ocean."

She grunted. "I'm not giving anything back until I get home." She disappeared within the tower and shot back up to its top, arming the base with water lookalikes as she did so to try to keep them all at bay. But after less than an hour, here Steven was. Her back was to him as she sat in the fetal position, watching the stars. The silence was deafening for the human and serene for the gem.

"Lapis."

"What are you doing up here, Steven? Have you come to put me back into that mirror?" She heard footsteps draw to her. She frowned, growing weary of him, but she said nothing. She wondered if her destiny, her fate, must have been to be trapped on this blue rock forever. "There's nothing you can to do to help me. I can't get back. Not like this. And if you came up here to hurt me, then do your worst…"

But the worst didn't come. Somewhere above the pair, a shooting star shot across the galaxy.

Warm arms wrapped themselves around Lapis' thin body, matting themselves upon her flowing dress. Stunned, she held her breath. Steven didn't say anything. He knew no words were appropriate, and nothing he could say could make her feel better. If Pearl couldn't build a rocket to reach Home World and if the whole world's oceans couldn't stretch themselves up to reach it, then there was no point in trying to get back. Nevertheless, if he had learned anything throughout his time with the Crystal Gems, it was that love rehabilitates. Sometimes people just need to be held, to viscerally experience the love that another cradles in their big heart. He knew it was working, because Lapis began to slightly shake in his arms, breaking down.

What he didn't know was that that was the first time Lapis had ever shed tears.

And now, trapped in this new prison cell she had voluntarily thrust herself into in order to save the strangest and most unique creature she had ever met, the only one who had ever acted like it cared about her, she shed many more tears. They fell continuously for what felt like ages. There was no hope. The only thing she could see in her future was Jasper finally overpowering her. Some part of her welcomed it, because she knew Jasper could and would bring her the sweet release of death, and from there, she would have no more feelings, or duties, or fears forevermore. The thought of no longer existing once seemed farfetched and disastrous, but now instead it seemed peaceful, and Lapis knew the only time she had ever felt peaceful _wasn't_ on Home World, but instead with Steven Universe.

If she could never see him again, then what was the point of carrying on?

She summoned her water wings and admired them, knowing it was the kindest gift Steven could possibly have bestowed upon her.

"I-I…I'm scared, Steven. I'm scared and confused." She had said. He must have smiled, or laughed internally, or something, but somehow, he had just known. He knew and he acted. With his wet hand, he had touched her gem, and she had been cured!

She still couldn't understand why he had called her "Bob," though, but maybe that was just a human thing-

"Lapis, don't freak out." Instant alert and fear seized Lapis anew and she spun around, expecting a new foe come to break her gem. The grip on her chains reignited involuntarily, but she didn't notice.

Instead of a new foe, however, she saw that very same human with the curly brown hair, pink shirt with star on it, jeans, and bright eyes. His usually beaming smile was only slight, crooked out of nervousness. "U-Um…hi, Lapis!"

"S-Steven? Is that you?" Steven mentally frowned at the picture before him. Lapis looked incredibly tattered and worn down, which wasn't surprising but it did concern him. Her dress was torn in numerous places, her perfect cerulean skin had numerous bruises on the arms, and her face had several scratch marks, reminding him of the grueling month she had just endured.

"Oof!" Lapis practically jumped into his arms, almost knocking him off his feet. He giggled softly and hugged her back. "I know what you're gonna ask, but no, I have no idea how I got here. I sure am glad I found you, though." The two pulled away, matching each other's grins, but Lapis' slowly started to fade.

"As happy as I am see to you, you shouldn't be here." She looked at the floor. "I've been wrestling _her_ for control this whole time. She finally seems to have calmed down for now, but there's no telling when she'll wake up. When that happens, you can't be around. Damn the rest of them, but she's not laying _one finger_ on you, Steven…"

"Well, what do you think I've been doing this whole time?" he asked her. "Me and the other gems have been looking for you."

"The other gems…?"

"Yes, the other ones. Listen, what they did to you was wrong and I know you're still upset by it. But I know them, and they are not bad people. When we find you and free you, you can talk it out with them. I want you to understand them just as I made them understand you. Okay?"

Lapis thought for a moment, and then sighed. "Okay. I trust you, Steven."

"Thanks, Lapis. So, where in the world are we?"

"I wish I could tell you, but I'm not sure. When Jasper and I first fused, I forced us with all my might into the water and pushed us as far away from the land as I could. I have no idea how far out we are. I do know there's one or two islands nearby, with some kind of strange, green creature on them, but...I don't know."

"Green creature…? Huh. Okay. I'll tell the others to try and find some islands. Thank you, Lapis. I promise you we are going to find you and save you!"

She giggled. "Thanks, Steven…" She frowned again. "But wait…I need to ask you something."

"Yeah?"

"I've never met anyone like you." She started to rub her shoulder slightly. "Why…why are you doing this for me? You hardly know me, and I've done so many bad things to you and your friends. I don't understand." She felt unworthy of such a caring and charismatic person. Who was she to ask him of all of his time and energy?

Steven grasped her free hand with his own, causing both of them to blush. "It's because you're my friend, and I care about you, Lapis."

"Is that the only reason?"

Steven blinked, and then swallowed. "N-No…it's also because…I love you, Lapis!" He entwined their fingers together. Finally, the weight off his chest had been lifted.

"Love? What is love? Is that a human thing?" Steven couldn't help but smirk at her ignorance.

"Well, no, it's not just for humans. It's for everyone and everything."

"What does it mean? What does it mean for you to love me?"

"Well, it means…I'm always happy with you around. I want to protect you and make you smile, always. I want to be with you, always."

"W-Wow…Steven…I…"

 _CRASH!_

Suddenly, tremors send ripples across their feet, and the chains bounding Lapis to the ground rattled noisily. Before either could react, Lapis quickly sank down through the water, screaming as she did so. Steven dropped to his knees and tried to shove his hands through the ground, but he couldn't puncture the threshold as his friend just had. A few yards away, the ground began to bubble upwards, and a giant orange and white mass appeared.

"Jasper…" Steven whispered. The giant gem coughed and spit, then slowly stood up. She struggled against the chains that seemed to be pulling her back down.

"Yeah…how do you like that, huh, you bitch!" Jasper yelled. The ground rumbled slightly, as if in agitated rejoinder. It only took another moment for Jasper to suddenly notice the quivering Steven before her.

"YOU!" She exclaimed. She began stamping towards him. "You…you…you little…" The chains suddenly tightened, yanking Jasper back into the ground. "ROOOOOOSE!"

Lapis jumped back out of the ground, barely able to stand. She looked back at Steven and screamed, "Go! Get out of here!"

Before Steven could protest, the domain seemed to be moving away from him as he said floated in empty space, just as he had been when he found the place.

"Lapis!" He called out.

"Steven!" She turned back at him, smiling. "I love you too!"

Steven's sight suddenly cut out entirely, and before he knew it, he was back in his room, back in the Temple, back in Beach City. Lying in his bed sheets, wet from his own sweat, a convoluted mess of emotions swirled in his still sleepy brain. But regardless of everything, he had seen her. He had been with her.

After a minute or so, he got out of bed and climbed down to the living room. Amethyst was already there, munching on a tin can.

"Well, hello, there, sleepy head!" She said enthusiastically. "What's going on?"

Steven sighed. "I saw Lapis. She's hurt and scared and still fighting Jasper for control, but I saw her. I was _with_ her last night, while I was sleeping. Amethyst, I…I love her, and she loves me. We need to save her, as soon as possible."

 _Author's note: And there you have a dumb little StevenxLapis one-shot (and technically the only complete fanfiction I've ever written, hur hur hur)! I hope you enjoyed reading! Fun fact: the title is a reference to a song by the band Psychic TV!_

 _The lyrics of Steven's song at the beginning were original ones written by me, adapted and changed slightly from an old piece called "Transition to Inspiration." I'm more of a poetry writer than a prose writer, but StevenxLapis is a worthy muse as well, especially when it's not a particularly popular ship (possibly a crack one in some people's eyes)._

 _Sorry if there wasn't a lot of_ direct _romance, in case you wanted more of that, but it kinda bothers me that in the few stories there are, they start off with Steven and Lapis already being romantically involved without any proper buildup, and in some cases, without any mention of Connie, who is at the moment definitely the canonical Steven pairing. I wanted to write something more about the emotional aspect rather than the physical aspect of StevenxLapis and how it could come to be. I'd go more into detail, plot-wise, but at this point, I am well aware of my own attention span and busy schedule and just know I would abandon a more epic story after just a few chapters, if even_ that _many._

 _Therefore, my only wish is that this story might inspire more people to write, or at least to like StevenxLapis. They don't have a whole lot of screen time together in the show – which really sucks – but when they do, they have such amazing chemistry and clearly care about one another in a unique way. It's not contrived, either, like it has been with Peridot and Lapis as of late – that's a fucking crack pairing if I've ever seen one, haha. Anyway, thanks for reading! Please leave a review, if you so wish!_


End file.
